There’s a perception that a man’s confidence and charisma is something inherent.
If you think of people you know that are confident, their actions, verbal skills and timing just seems natural to them – as if they’ve always been that way.
They just exude confidence.
But note that confidence is something you acquire as a result of life experiences, i.e. learning from mistakes, assessing and understanding what works well and then implementing those lessons…day in day out.
Here are key building blocks to a more confident you…
Who are you?
Know yourself first. That means getting clear on what you stand for.
Getting clear on your values, beliefs and principles.
For example – one of your values might be freedom.
One of your beliefs could be respect for your elders.
A principle might be questioning everything and understanding reasons for why things are a certain way.
Once you’re clear on your values, beliefs and tolerances – no-one shake you. You will always have your values, beliefs and tolerances as your north star. They will guide you in whatever challenging situation you’re in and help you make decisions with clarity.
Billionaire Investor – Ray Dalio even wrote a book about principles, called ‘Principles’! He founded and built his company BridgeWater Investments through a series of strict principles about character, investing and management.
You have to look after yourself. This means respecting your body by giving it the right nutrients, rest and exercise.
The endorphins from a solid workout session alone give you a great feeling of accomplishment and ‘top of the world’ feeling. Lifestyle guru Tony Robbins said you cant change your mental state unless you alter your physical state and energy. The long term results from more muscle and fat loss are a fantastic confidence and self esteem builder.
Eat well. When it comes to looking after yourself, eat at consistent times, have a balanced diet and eat reasonable portions.
Have an idea what you should eat for the day and at what times. If you eat oily, greasy and stodgy food you end up feeling lethargic and probably not getting the vitamins and minerals you need.
Once you care for yourself, look after your needs and fill up your cup – only then are you in a position to help and assist others!
Inner confidence comes easier when you know what looks good on you. Dressing well is very important for first impressions, how people see you and indicates to others that you like to take care of your appearance – which ties in with loving yourself.
Of course, you need to find a style that suits your build and body type. Click here for a useful guide by The Idle man.
I would recommend that you decide on a series of outfit combinations (including shoes) that you really like and work well for a particular activity, occasion or day of the week. It just exudes confidence when you wear outfits that appear natural and effortless on you. Of course, be sure to invest in good quality clothing – even if its on the pricier side. It shows!
Dressing well includes wearing accessories that compliment your style. I would always recommend a great dress watch that is suitable for any occasion.
Give yourself targets each day and aim to conquer most – if not all of them. The sense of achievement does wonders for your mental state and your confidence. Refer to my post below for enhancing your productivity;
At the end of your day you should reflect on your best achievements. The sense of fulfillment from achieving your daily targets tells you that you’re slowly, but surely conquering your projects.
You gain so much confidence from accomplishments! Each step goes a long way.
Face your fears
Try not to think twice. If there’s something that makes you uncomfortable, then you’re best bet is to face it full on.
If you’re in an awkward or unpleasant situation, count to 5 in your head and take action before you get to 5. This ensures that you’re not giving yourself time to back away and procrastinate. The more fears you conquer, the more you realise there is little to be scared of. Your confidence grows and grows.
Oh and a cold shower every morning is amazing! It just sets you up perfectly for your day, and if you can get through that then nothing will faze you and your confidence sky-rockets!
What you can and can’t control
Know this. There are some things you just can’t control! The weather, people’s reactions, bird crap. The things you can control, i.e. your mood, your work, etc – manage those to the best of your ability.
Those things you can’t control – don’t let them stress you out dude. Move on quickly, stay cool and your confidence remains solid. If you let external uncontrollable things get to you, then you end up affecting your own mental state.
Learn, Learn, Learn
You are a product of your environment. Think of the 3 closest people to you, and calculate a rough average of their income. That would probably be close to your income.
In addition, your thoughts and lifestyle are highly likely to be aligned to your closest 3 people in your life. Inspect yourself, seek growth and seek inspiring people to be around.
You can do this by having mentors, listening to podcasts, watching inspiring people on videos or reading a self development book. By learning something new daily, you’re cultivating a growth mindset and gaining clarity of thought.
Pretty soon you’ll be able to teach others and become a person of value. A fantastic way to develop inner confidence. Remember – the application of knowledge leads to better decisions.
Above all, consistent good habits and application is the key to ensuring your confidence is sustainable.
One thing that I’ve been learning is effective digital marketing for generating sales and extra income. If you’re interested in expanding your skills and creating an online business, I encourage you to click here.